Love to Craft

I'm rubbish at telling jokes, you see I have to be exact. If the time was 7 mins and 36 seconds past 4 then it's important that I tell you that! I understand that when you tell a joke some artistic licence is permissible - therein lies my problem (and yours if you're still reading this) because I also like to retell conversations word for word!
Yesterday a conversation over the telephone with my husband went like this (just after he had taken our old golden retriever to the vets because of a nasty sore on the side of his face)...

Husband: He's not coming back.
Me (just about to get hysterical): You mean they put him to sleep?
Husband: No, they gave him a very close shave, an injection, a course of antibiotics, all for the bargain price of £70.
Me(very concerned): So, is it serious, he is getting on a bit?
Husband: No, it's a self induced wound, something irritated him, he nagged at it until it became inflamed and infected.
Me: WHAT? £70! A SELF INDUCED WOUND! Fetch my gun!